this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
