Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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