yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
