i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
