i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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