I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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