HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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