Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
