I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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