his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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