And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
