The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
