After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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