yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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