just tell him i said nine months
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
