There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
