You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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