Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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