Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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