I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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