i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
