you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
