K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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