I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
