Don't you send me to vm
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
even my farts smell like vagina
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
