Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
