Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
