I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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