If that was your dad, he is hot
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
