I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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