is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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