Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
