It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
