yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize