last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
