Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize