I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
