Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
