I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
