oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
