I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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