You made me cry and you don't even care
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
