Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you never un-have a 4some
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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