It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
