i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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