I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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