you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
