I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
