Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
