Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize