literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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