I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
