Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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