Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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