i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
