fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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