can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
