I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They have beer where we have blood.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
