This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
