Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
