I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize