accomplished twins. life is a go
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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