Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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