we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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