he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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