Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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