her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
