i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
